Tuesday, 29 May 2018

Turning 23, Thoughts On Another Year

 I'm 23 today, the year between    turning 22 to becoming 23 has      gone so fast, so much has changed in my life and so much has happened. 
 Age is an odd one and I feel like it springs itself on you when you're least expecting it - for example, things I would enjoy when I was just turning 22, I'm no longer enjoying and vice versa - things that I've never even contemplated being enjoyable, tasty and so on, I'm now loving - and all in the space of a year.  
  I feel good, like really good - I've managed to eliminate a chunk of negativity from my life and replace with positivity and it's made such an impact on my life.
 Gratitude is a big factor in this, I feel so thankful for the small handful of people I have around me that motivate me every day, how far I've come - despite the rocky journey and that's such a blissful feeling. 
 My passions have evolved, grown and blossomed into something all together and I'm genuinely excited to see what the year of 23 will bring to me. 

 Let's start by reflecting on the small journey of a year from 22 to 23. 
 29th May 2017 - My 22nd Birthday, the weekend before I had been to We Are Festival with some a few close friends and a few... acquaintances that pretended to be my friends in order to get a cooler ride to the festival, made a big deal of themselves even though it was supposed to be my day and one of them even purposely peed into a cup in the party bus - I'm not making this stuff up. I had a huge anxiety attack when we got off the party bus, (which I rarely have anymore and haven't had one since) because I was so drunk, so angry about the girl being disrespectful and I thought I'd left a friends boyfriends' phone on the party bus - I hadn't. It all seems silly now however at the time I was freaking out and felt like it was all going to tatters. I ended up having a great time at the festival and my best friend and her boyfriend made me feel amazing on my actual birthday. They planned a cute surprise of picking me up and taking me to afternoon tea.

 They'd packed balloons in the car and got me the cutest present of a keyring, with a picture of my late dog, which was the sweetest thing ever and is still on my keys today - when I opened it, I cried - out of gratitude, mourning and happiness that someone would do something that's just so sweet for me. 
 After the birthday celebrations had passed, I had a lot of money stresses and would work ridiculous hours at my old job trying to save money to go on my trip through America that I'd booked a year prior, whilst still paying rent on a little flat. There was tension between me and my family as they were worried about me and how I'd be able to afford anything. I don't come from a well off family so there was only so much money I could borrow and a financial burden really does mess with your head too. 
 June - The beginning of June, I was continuing to work my butt off and was due to depart on my International trip at the end of June. 

I got fired. From a job and company that I'd put so much love into, a fellow colleague would bad mouth them and I'd sing their praises behind their back when I really didn't need to. The company itself wasn't the reason I got fired, it was due to three sly, power hungry members of staff who I thought I could trust. 
 One of them in particular, was my supervisor at the time and I had pretty much told her my life story, we'd bonded over so many things so I thought she was a person I could trust. 
 It honestly broke my heart and I was scared, so scared. I had so many bills to pay off, an international trip the following week, and a flat to somehow pay for with no savings and a maxed out overdraft. 
 I remember crying to my stepmum, 'I'm fucked, I'm absolutely fucked.' I was in tatters. She told me 'You're not fucked, everything is fixable even if it's not clear just yet.' 

The change happened so fast, the next week I had been to countless  job agencies and ended up going back to a company that I used to work for when I was a teen. The job was accepted and I had something to come back to after my trip which was a little relief for the time being and I was leant the money to get me through. 
20th June 2017 - The trip couldn't have come at a better time, I really needed that escape from reality. I travelled from Ottawa and Montreal in Canada where I met my childhood best friend, we then flew to New York City which I've dreamt about since I was a youngster, I then met up with a tour group and we travelled through Philadelphia, Washington,  Memphis, Knoxville, more and then all the way down to New Orleans. I experienced so much on that trip, I was planning on doing a massive post all about it however I now feel like it's something for me but it was incredible, I experienced some amazing things, conquered a few fears, made a few mistakes and made friends.

July - We're back from the trip now and a slam dunk back into the shock of reality, work, work and more work to try and get some money behind me.
 I eventually felt happier, I enjoyed the job as I knew exactly what I was doing and the people were loving and welcoming to me. I ended up gaining a crush on a work colleague and to start off with, I was incredibly apprehensive to let anything come of it - 'will this person let me down just like the rest of them?' I thought to myself.
 August - The crush ended up turning into a 'seeing each other' situation and here we are 9 months later as a loved up couple and I couldn't be happier - you can read my post about my thoughts on love here.
 September - I moved back in with my stepmum to save money, got a promotion to a supervisor and my crush asked me to be his girlfriend, so all in all was a pretty great month of change.
 October - I fell in love with my boyfriend and he fell in love with me too and everything was just, perfect.

November & December - Both of these months went fast, they were filled with spending time with my new boyfriend, working and enjoying Christmas. 
January 2018 - I rediscovered my love for all things YouTube and blog and felt inspired to build it up again. 
 Fast forward to now, I'm writing this post at quarter to midnight on the 17th of May and couldn't be happier. 
 For my birthday this year, I'm going to We Are Festival again with just my close friends and boyfriend who mean the world to me, going to Ikea to get a new desk (I'm currently using a dining table lol) getting lots of food and then for my actual birthday me and my boyfriend are going to London Zoo to spend the day as big kids in the sunshine. 
 I think after all this, it goes to show just how much can happen and change in a year and I wouldn't have changed anything otherwise I wouldn't be where I am now.
(p.s - I'm a gemini, hence the tee ;-))

Shop The Post

Till Next Time,

Shiv xo


No comments

Post a Comment

© shivsblog | Beauty, Fashion, Lifestyle Blog | All rights reserved.
Blogger Template Developed by pipdig